The Ugly Duckling!

A friend sent me this message today as a response to some pictures I uploaded on facebook recently.

" Saylee,You are so beautiful. The pictures don't really
make enough justice. just a friendly praise for you :) "

I get a lot of emails from fans and friends praising me about my looks. I send a humble thank you note back with a smiley face and if these emails don't carry any other significant information or feedback, they usually end up in trash. But this particular email churned my thoughts for some reason, maybe because it was unexpected, but it made me think, took me for a ride into my past!

Have you heard the Marathi song - "एका तळ्यात होती, बदके पिले सुरेख?"

It's about this ugly little duckling which suffers abuse and gets mocked and laughed at by it's friends and neighbors. Poor soul is lonely and cries to itself in sorrow, until one fine morning, when much to it's delight and to the surprise of others, it realizes that it is actually a graceful Swan...

I feel like it's my story!

Growing up, I was always told that I was ugly!! They called me all sorts of names, made fun of me and laughed at my expense! Family, friends and even the people who had nothing to do with me....

... and I cried .. all alone, to myself.. nobody cared enough to notice..

Things changed as time passed.. How? When? I don't know! .. something unfolded on it's own!
Now, the same folks praise me .. perceive me differently.. treat me differently ... world seems like a different place to my same set of eyes..

But can I forget?

Was I really ugly then?

And am I really beautiful now?

I remember when I was a child, no matter what they said, I always believed I was beautiful! I was kind to them even when they hurt me. I helped them even when they laughed at me. There were no calculations, no revenges, no acts and no tacts! I cared.. I loved.. I cried for those who cried ..

I think I was a beautiful child! ..

How much of that purity still remains in my soul? I am not sure about now, but I sure was very very beautiful then!

So, I finally recorded my first two albums!

Yes, I was nervous every time I stood in the studio with headphones on, waiting for the music to start! Before each song, I prayed and asked God to be with me and to reside my throat. Then I visualized the entire song, and told myself to live it! For some songs I even danced in the studio during the connecting music pieces, just to get into the mood. (well, that's a secret :) ) Once the song started, the nervousness vanished on it's own.

Our music director, Pdt G S Chandra has been very satisfied with my performance in these 2 albums, although I feel I could still do a better job in couple of songs.. esp. "Main to Painyan" song. People are loving it, but I am my best critic and every time I listen to myself, I feel I could do better. Maybe that's how I'll improve.

Overall, I loved the whole experience. We were at the studio for 5 days from morning till late night, life was only about music, and how I wish it stays that way! ( oh..  I even lost a few pounds unknowingly)

I am working on putting together a quick website, where I can upload some sample tracks for you to get sneak previews of my songs before the CDs are released.

Here are a couple of pictures from last week. Both are taken in the backyard of our studio place. On first day, we did a small Pooja before we started with our venture. First pic is about that. The second one is my picture with our music director, Pdt. G S Chandra.

A Bold Step into the Musical World ..

It's been SUCH a LONG time, since I wrote my last blog .. I know! And I want to say sorry to those who look forward to reading my blogs. I really am!

During all this time, life took some beautiful twists .. so many to talk about! .. But today i want to share with you the most amazing thing that happened to me!

I finally found what I was looking for all these years..  my ultimate passion, my deepest craving,  my soul! ..

  MUSIC!!!

I had started singing as a kid .. I loved it, but at that time it was more like a study project. Then I went and tried bunch of other things... dancing, painting, poetry, sports, and more and more .. and oh! how can I forget my bread - hardware engineering! 

But finally I realized I have only traced the circle to land back on music! Music it is!!

If you asked me where I will be after 30 years.. I don't know!! But I know for sure that I'll still  be singing!! Singing my every vein out!!

I am just about to take a bold step in my musical world!

The recording of my first 2 music albums starts day after tomorrow!!

And I cannot tell you what it means to me.. if this is a dream, I do not want to wake up!

And at such an important milestone, how is it even possible to not remember you all?  

Today, my heart cries out for your love. 

I want to touch your hearts with my music... shower  you with the most precious gift I got!

Will you let me?

Will you sprinkle your affection, blessings and wishes around me?

Will you be on my side as friends, and as critics?

Will you? .........