They see me laughing, jumping, dancing and singing and wonder what's the secret!
They want to be me sometimes, to feel the joy overflowing!
Some say it's mere luck!
Some say it's freedom!
Some say it's independence!
Some just keep wondering.....
Well, heres' a lil something about me that they might not know..
This is a picture of a night that's very easy to find in my life, every once in a while ....
I am sitting here in my apartment...
on my sofa with my laptop ...
all alone....
at 2:00 AM in a dry cold night..
The next time I hear any voice will only be when I get to the office tomorrow...
a sleepy dim light spread in the room..
sitting next to me, are tons of indifferent mails and arid credit card bills...
a slow gazal playing without even caring why it is being played..
I am wondering about something like ... "what is it that I really want"....
my eyes are red and paining, but I still won't sleep...
and ofcourse, I have nobody around to force me to sleep..
It's so quiet that I dont like it when refrigerator shuts off once in a while..
I am thirsty but the empty cup of water on the center table will sit there with a grin on its edge....
I look around .. all the furniture and all the walls stand still..
I look at all the pictures on the walls and the decorations that I did with my own hands...
they sit dead, as if they dont care whether they are on the wall or in the box ....
The only things moving are my eyes, and the feelings hidden behind them..
Flocks of thoughts with a few memories stapled to them start gushing into my mind, only to make it tougher and tougher for me to breathe..
I wish ... if only someone could call me right at this moment, from India, and tell me how bright the day is over there....
I recall the faces that make me happy and suddenly realize that it's going to be a while before I get to see them....
Slowly, I feel like I cannot see anymore...
Oh! Is that a silly water drop in my eyes?
?
But I know that it will never fall down as a tear..
It's gonna turn into a sparkle instead...
I take a deeeeep breath!
strech my arms as wide as I can, get up, and smile!
Drink a glassful of water!
I start watering the plants in the living room since they might be thirsty too!
while pouring water, I look out of the window....
and the empty streets say that they're waiting for tomorrow because that's when I'll drive through them!!
I smile again...
I go out in the patio and pour seeds in my bird-feeder, so that there are lots of birds coming to wake me up in the morning..
It's cold. So with joy, I run inside the house..
I hear a few happy whispers.. I look around. All my pictures, flowers and decorations say, "We really do like it here, to be a part of your home!"
It feels so wonderful that I must close my eyes...
Yes!
Tomorrow is gonna be the happiest day ever! :)
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.
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Some say it's mere luck!
Some say it's freedom!
Some say it's independence!
Some just keep wondering.....
I say,
it's seeing what you really want to see!
it's hearing what you really want to hear!
it's feeling what you really want to feel!
and it's being what you really want to be!
